the real pseudo.

2008-03-02T14:02:00.000+08:00

heh. life... just so funny.

A Brand New Race.

2007-09-25T01:29:00.000+08:00

i have finished running this race. now i need a good rest.
i'll start running when the next race begins.
i'll run where the next track takes me.

my Johnny Hates Jazz.

2007-07-27T23:28:00.001+08:00

good ol' times! enjoy this song.

the volleyball.

2007-07-26T13:46:00.000+08:00

"no might can destroy our love so bright in my heart within my soul... until time unfolds..."

a christmas gift from someone many years ago.

2007-07-25T13:42:00.000+08:00

"i'm looking to be with this person who i have fallen so deeply in love with... this person where every word she says to me reflects more and more that idea of an ideal person in my mind. talking to her i fall alseep smiling and wake up wondering when i will speak to her next..."

what's internet good for...?

2007-07-25T00:15:00.001+08:00

this is specially for someone who appreciates such a silly clip. totally reminds me of you. the rest of you... just enjoy it!

the secret.

2007-07-24T20:08:00.000+08:00

Someone recently had shown me a production called ‘The Secret’. What is this Secret? It is also known as the ‘Law of Attraction’. Hmmm… you must be wondering, “What is the ‘Law of Attraction’?” Basically it’s about how you feel and how that feelings affect the things, people… the environment – the attraction between you and them. Yeah, that’s the gist of it.

Hence it’s good to wake up everyday to tell yourself that you are going to have a wonderful day ahead and start telling yourself what you want rather than what you don’t want.

one tough try.

2007-07-15T22:52:00.000+08:00

[current state of mind: trying]

yes, trying is the word for my job.

balance the imbalances.

2007-06-22T20:00:00.000+08:00

I have found that the many imbalances within our individual lives result in an overall more worldly balance. What I mean is that no matter how unfair I think something is, I need only look at the bigger picture to see how, in a way, it fits. There was no such thing as a free meal: everything comes at a cost to others, most of the time cost to ourselves. Whenever something is gained, it has been taken from another place. When something is lost, it arrives elsewhere. There are the usual philosophical questions: why do bad things happen to good people? Within every bad thing I see good, and likewise, within every good thing I see bad, however impossible it is to understand it or see it at the time. As humans we are the epitome of life, in life there is always balance. Life and death, male and female, good and bad, beautiful and ugly, win and lose, love and hate. Lost and found.

Changes.

2007-05-04T23:41:00.000+08:00

Life is funny. Don't you reckon? You reached a certain age and you're at a different stage. The stage might be still be the same, but the person acting on the stage is different. Or the stage has a change of backdrop but the the person on it is still the same.

Environment changes oneself when you allow yourself to aborb into it. Sometimes you're unconsciously allowing your conscious self to be changed.

The person who allows oneself to change. Foolish one.

Where to from Here?

2007-04-13T01:28:00.000+08:00

It's been awhile since I sign in into this blogging account of mine. And I realised I have a post under the draft and I decided to post it up anyway, cos I wouldn't remember what else I had on mind for that post.

The last couple of months have been challenging for me. I left that peanuts paying company and started with a hospitality company. It is really a up hill ride for me in this current job, the reason being I'm really not much of a person for the nature of the job. So I have decided to move on from here again. Honestly how much time can one person have anyway, eh? Not much, if you really sit down to ponder on. We only have a year when we're at 26, and 27 comes by pretty soon from here.

So where to from here for me? Somewhere out of here.

the missing posts.

2006-12-09T19:51:00.000+08:00

Gosh! it's been so long since i have blog. the last time i blog was also the last event i organised for the clubs. the last three months definitely World of Warcraft has kept me busy. really busy! i loving this game so much!

Upcoming Sport: Dragon Boat!

2006-07-24T00:43:00.000+08:00

Over the weekend, I spent my time picking a new sport, Dragon Boating. I had read quite a few articles from the media on this particular sport. And indeed this sport is picking up and gaining its popularity not only from the locals but also the expatriates who reside here. I had seen a number of Caucasians doing it while I was there at the Kallang River.

This sport really requires a lot of coordination, perseverance and lots of team effort. After two sessions on it, I am already aching all over. Now it's the aching period that I need to survive out of it - like an old lady for the next few days.

I really would like to thank the boys who made these two days possible. Thank you for being there and teaching us the techniques. Last but not least, making it all fun and enjoyable for us :)

IntroBar.

2006-07-21T02:50:00.000+08:00

Location: Level 1, Equinox Complex, Swissôtel The Stamford

Dress code: Smart casual

It was another of our chill out nights. This time round was at IntroBar located at Swissôtel The Stamford. Small place with a mature working crowd.

I ordered a Vanilla Martini. Clearly after this potent glass of Vanilla Martini, I was delirious enough to be doing some silly acts. Hmmm... perhaps this was our calling to our new job, eh.

We walked passed a newly opened shop. We had a good time looking at the flowers given to the shop owner. I saw this really interesting one... (on the left) Not just flowers... it had apples on it too!

Food Review

2006-07-16T23:13:00.000+08:00

Venue: Pearl's Food Centre

Food: Yong Tau Foo
Waiting Time: 20 minutes

My mom and I went on a food queue today. Yes, a food queue. We decided to go to the food stalls which you had to queue for ages to get your food.

First stop is the Yong Tau Foo stall. If you patronise Pearl's Food Centre long enough, you will also know of another popular stall called Ko Kee Yong Tau Foo. I saw quite a number of people having their lunch from Ko Kee. However today that was not the stall we were targetting.

When we finally arrived at the stall, there was already a long queue. So my mom went to get a table for us, while I started my food queue. I had to wait 20 minutes before I could order 2 bowls of Yong Tau Foo. If you are expecting it to be served with noodles or rice, I'm afraid you have to order it from somewhere else or bring your own. This stall only sells Yong Tau Foo Soup.

Here comes the verdict:
The clear soup is rather normal. Though it could really improve alot more for its taste. The pieces of Yong Tau Foo are really well stuffed with meat and fish paste. The portion served was good value for money. The dipping chilli sauce was not to the liking of my tastebuds. Overall, if you are not pressed for time; you can take some time out to queue for it.

Venue: Mei Heong Yuen Dessert
Food: Mango & Pomelo, Walnut Paste and Peanut Paste

The cold Mango and Pomelo dessert is really nice and refreshing dessert for a warm and humid day. Each spoonful of cold mango puree comes with each pomelo pulp bursting in your mouth. It's really an interesting combination.

Both the Peanut and Walnut are really finely ground to paste. The texture is smooth and light. The sweetness is just nice.

Another dessert they offer is the Water Chestnut Cake. It is made of glutinous rice flour and lots of crunchy bits of water chestnut. The crunchy bits of chestnut adds distinct texture to the softness of the cake.

2006-07-14T00:24:00.000+08:00

Singapore Service Standards Part I

What happened to the Four Million Smile Campaign? The world is going to look at us. Come on show your best smile :)

2006-07-14T00:16:00.000+08:00

Singapore Service Standards Part II

Is this the typical locals?

Food Review

2006-07-08T02:18:00.000+08:00

Venue: The Villa Bali
‘Little Bali’ 9A Lock Road
Gillman Village
Singapore 108937
Cuisine: North Indian, Thai, Indonesian
Opening Hours: Sun to Thurs (4pm to 1am)
Fri & Sat (4pm to 2am)
Eve & P.H (4pm to 3am)

This is one of my favourite places to chill out and have a nice dinner with friends. I definitely love the ambience. It is tuck in the midst of the lush greenery amongst the buildings surrounding the restaurant. The setting is the typical Balinese furnishing - using a lot of wood.

Garlic & Butter Naan with
Butter Chicken

Beef Rendang

Mutton & Beef Satay

Thai Mango Salad
Phad Thai
'Boneless Fish'

beautiful creation.

2006-07-07T12:52:00.000+08:00

"Stand still, and consider the wondrous works of God." ~ JOB 37:14

the indian dance.

2006-07-02T23:07:00.000+08:00

This is what my boyfriend does at work. Yup, he is the Indian Dance Instructor, plus his assistant Enegue.

do you need to use the toilet?

2006-07-02T22:48:00.000+08:00

This really makes me wonder, do all Japanese men pee while squating? Can't be all who entered needed to poo? Hmmm... Anyone care to enlighten me?

the early morning queue.

2006-07-01T21:17:00.000+08:00

It was really quite a sight today at this hotel. This whole lot of people queuing up for a reason. It took some time before reaching the end of the queue and before getting into the 2nd queue, people had to queue in the 1st queue to be measured.

Finally at the end of the 2nd queue, people were handed something. They were told of a time to get back. So when they are back at their stipulated time, they sat down in this room to watch a video. The people were then being group into different batches of 10. When their names were called, they followed this lady to another room and wait again. After the wait, the group of ten will then be in another room to be asked to say whatever was being required.

That was what I saw so far.

What's Eating Into Me?

2006-06-30T23:28:00.000+08:00

I had a chat with my girlfriend, Z.L. She told me she heard about the chat too. I was surprised, since I didn't tell her about it. Then again, the person who was involved in that chat was bitchy enough to mention it to someone else or perhaps many others. I threw a scowl look when I realised that a personal chat was being spoke of or mentioned to those who was not even closely related to it in any manner.

Excuse me, was it necessary to mention it to another person who wasn't even in any manner who would be affected or even have to be aware of that chat be made known or told of about it?

Since this person who likes to start a fire in the forest, then said that it would be endangering the life form living in the forest; this person simply disgust me to the max! kudos to the fire starter!

I was totally under the weather when I spoke to her. She posted me a question, "What's eating into you so badly?" I just know that I had this tremendous negative emotions bogging me down. These emotions are slowly devouring me.

That chat really snapped the twig. It was a chat which threw me off my seat and made me fell over to give a good thought about it. It definitely left me feeling really disturbed and offended by it.

Anyway I would love to suggest that a customised A.I specially made for your purpose or usage of performing the tasks you required; so that you would not deem your customised A.I as being free or nothing much to do - definitely value for money too.

the results.

2006-06-28T22:05:00.000+08:00

"Your overall performance... you have done well. But..."
The tester checked the 'failed' box.
Sigh. That ray of hope of passing when he said his first sentence to me... gone with $150 too!!!

let Love in.

2006-06-27T23:12:00.000+08:00

I just acquired my third Goo Goo Dolls album, Let Love In.

The music is just the way I like it.

driving test.

2006-06-27T23:05:00.000+08:00

it's going to be my very first driving test tomorrow at 8.25am. i'm very excited and nervous about it. *deep breaths*

daily promise.

2006-06-23T22:23:00.000+08:00

"Where your treasure is, there will your heart be also."
Matthew 6:21

"God is light, and in him is no darkness at all."
1 John 1:5

better prospects.

2006-06-21T21:41:00.000+08:00

You have my support for the decision you have made. I'll be happy for you.

on medical leave.

2006-06-19T22:25:00.000+08:00

I have been down with cough for more than 2 weeks. My cough just got worst over the weekend. I was running a temperature in the night and I decided I should stay home today with the medical leave the doctor had given me. I'm definitely high on the index for cough. Damned the bad air quality and weather here. I miss those fresh air and lovely spring weather in Oz.

I just read a friend's blog, it was funny how she missed home initially within less than 24 hours touching down in USA. Now it seems she is really having lots of fun and enjoying herself. True enough, you need to settle in before you really know what the place has to offer to you.

I have been going up and down the hills of late. It seems like I have lost my sense of direction. A direction I once knew and persistent on following is gone. I have not been happy of late with work. Perhaps it ain't so much of an idealist's world to be a in realistic world.

the wedding dinner @ Holiday Inn Atrium.

2006-06-08T12:26:00.000+08:00

I attended my boyfriend's friend's wedding dinner on Tuesday. Honestly I detest local wedding dinner, because they never start on time. Dinner was served only at 9.30pm. Excuse me, we're not Spanish who have dinner at 9pm. What annoys me, was that all the guests were seated. It was the married couple who was late. tsk tsk tsk.

This wedding dinner was not very well planned. What are the things which can be done better:

The wedding photos were really quite bad.

with poor fashion sense, the groom looked so "beng".
the photos lacked expressions and feelings to it.
the photographer was rather lousy.

The emcees.

get a person whom you know can engage with the audience.
this role is important to get the atmosphere going.

The wedding favour.

how boring to get 'heart-shaped' chocolates.
get something meaningful for your guests to keep.

The food.

the typical menu.
get something special that signifies the character of the bride and groom
perhaps a 'hawker delight dish' to break the 'norm' menu.

What are your suggestions? Post your comments.

the whiff of bad aura.

2006-05-19T22:40:00.000+08:00

this entire week was bad.

the labour day weekend break.

2006-05-04T20:53:00.000+08:00

the men behind the food.

guess what are those?

the coffeeshop which my grams used to take me to have those lovely charcoal-toasted kaya toast, now it has become a property shop =(

the cinema which is no longer in operation.

I was back in Bahau, a small town in Negri Sembilan over the Labour Day break. I haven't been back there in ages... perhaps it has been more than 5 years? This small town has been growing, slowly...

I took the opportunity to visit the one place where it played a part when I was growing up as a child - my grandparents' house. It was upsetting to see the state in was in, as I remembered my grandparents painstakingly upkeep the house. My grandparents used to have two mango trees, four papaya trees, one pomelo tree, chilli plant, pandan plant and chickens. Now, it was left to deteriorate by the new owner.

paintball event.

2006-04-25T23:06:00.000+08:00

The division that I am in, we had to plan for this company event. We started playing from 4 plus in the afternoon till about 7 plus. It was a really big time game. I had lots of fun with my colleagues. It was especially challenging when it started to rain from light drizzle to pouring rain; we still continued on with the game with the wet and muddy ground. It looks easy, however it ain't as it seems to be. The gun had really some weight to it, not to mention having to lug the 'rescued box' from the front of our own ground back to base camp was sure a tough task. At first when Ken (the guy who owns the TAG Paintball) was doing the briefing and demostration, I really thought that the 'box' was rather easy to carry around - damned I was wrong to perceived its looks.

anyway it was day of fun, getting wet & dirty + pain! Seriously those little paintballs can really do some damaging effects on you. Most of my colleagues were bruised from the shots. I had one brushed passed my neck. The other shot on my mask! Phew!

oh, it was a damned expensive game to play! good thing boss was footing the bill. heeheehee ;)

the tea break.

2006-04-17T23:22:00.000+08:00

i went out for a tea break with Bubbles, after writing a page long email to this established catering company. we were really uphappy about their service and attitude towards their customer. i shall not carry any further with this catering company as it will only make me more infuriated.

anyway back to our tea break at Han's situated at SpringLeaf Tower. as we were make our steps out to the exit from our table, it started to pour from the sky. a second ago, it was still a light drizzle. darned it. we had to brave the heavy rain and walked back to office - which seems miles away by now.

when we arrived at the office, we headed straight to the ladies to dry ourselves. we spent about half an hour drying our feet, shoes and socks. i almost wanted to dump my socks in the microwave to dry it, because it was taking such a long time to dry it under the hand-dryer. we did spend some time chatting in the ladies and we were talking about some silly things we did when we were younger.

Bubbles told me that she put an egg in the microwave when she was in her teens, as she wanted to eat a hard-boiled egg. in the end, the egg exploded in the microwave! hahahaha!!! the most silly thing i did as a child was to put a hot iron on my arm - just to know what it felt like! that was like the most excruiating experience for a six year old.

when we were finally done drying, we went over to the Marketing room to check out the people - alright it was more like disturbing them. anyway K.Y, Bubbles and I made J.T put up some crazy acts and we took some crazy pictures of him. Bubbles and I are going to give him a big 21st birthday present tomorrow. hiak hiak hiak! i can't wait to see the end product. i seriously laughed my arse off today.

that's about it for today, i am going to a number of articles which need to be send out soon.

I.L.P

2006-04-01T18:44:00.000+08:00

I have decided to take on coaching for i.l.p when Blossom couldn't find anyone to do coaching. Bubbles and I had our first class today. I'm taking the sec 1 & 2 (GAI) class and KS class was by Bubbles. I have a co-coach with me, S.C - he was a past i.l.p participant too. He was from the pioneer batch; it was only 5 weeks then compare to 10 weeks now.

It was a good start, though a little slow and time has to be kept to it. We did spend quite an amount of time for introduction of self and there are going to be quite alot to be done next lesson. This is going to be a challenge!

february.

2006-03-19T00:16:00.000+08:00

i realised i didn't write a single post for the month of February. what was i busy with...? let's see...

1. Driving lessons for twice a week.
2. Fixing all the shit filled pipes in the division.
3. Dealing with the unnecssary b.*.t.*.h who loves to say, "can i clarify?" "what is your concern?"
4. Going on site recces for the events/activities which i am going to organise.
5. Learning more about the people around me.
6. Never a day passed without me thinking of the carefree and laid-back lifestyle.
7. Rejected an opportunity to go for a Marcom interview.
8. Never stopped disliking the shrivelled balls.
9. Had planned for a birthday party for my chubby boy, however never got through.
10. Looking forward for holidays and road trips i can take this year! i need a break!

throw the dog out.

2006-03-18T23:48:00.000+08:00

it is really too much for me to handle. really really. that little brat! urgh!

no one in the household has actually made it a point to discipline him properly and the rules i set had been broken while i was away in university. the rest of the household pampers and spoils that little furry brat to death! he in returns, figured out a way to manipulate his way through them and hence becoming such a tyrant. he is really intolerable for me. i really want to delibrately leave the gate wide open so that he can run out and never return. i am looking forward to the days where by i am able to accidentally drop my things onto the floor and there is no rascal dog to come after it. i can safely leave my bags around and not having to think about the "quarantine department" dog to inspect my bags; to retrieve items which deemed legal enough to have around the household. i have enough of the growls from the tyrannic dog to forbid me (the owner of the bed) to go onto the bed to have a good night's rest. his constant peeing in the wrong places and leaving the pungent stench behind is totally not bearable for the nose.

someone get this dog out of here!

a stranger.

2006-03-13T21:45:00.000+08:00

time has not stop.
you came passed here;
and those were the yesteryears.

memories were flooding in;
as i thought about you.

once my good friend;
somehow feels like a stranger.
i did not what is happening
in your life.

it's weird, isn't it?

shrivelled balls.

2006-03-04T00:23:00.000+08:00

Damned bloody boss... if you think we are so damned bloody free, why not you do it yourself?! Freaking made promises which you do not even remember. Gosh! You are really pathetic and freaking no balls.

no posts for February.

2006-02-01T00:29:00.000+08:00

please refer to the March Archives.

Blogger was busy for this month.

unappreciated.

2006-01-29T22:03:00.000+08:00

if you can't appreciate me, you can just get out of my face!
cos, i do not need a selfish bastard to stick around.

Balaclava.

2006-01-08T02:44:00.000+08:00

Taipei here we come...

2006-01-06T00:53:00.000+08:00

Happy One Year Anniversary to Us!

2005-12-21T15:50:00.000+08:00

Taken with my very own Nikon S3 digital camera. woo hoo! 16 multiple shots!
Thank yoo, BB.
Love you.

ideally. not realistically.

2005-11-20T23:03:00.000+08:00

ben said this to me, "think of it as war, but with the self-confidence of a warrior prepared to deal with whatever thats about to come your way. and eliminate each foe, with every objective met." when i told him that it will be another day of war for me when tomorrow comes. it feels good to just stay home on a sunday... simply doing nothing else.

it occurred to me that it has been a year since we last spoke on the phone; it was some time last when i was still in perth. and it had been 3 long years since we last met; that was our graduation day.

he is still the good ol' ben. someone who always make my phone conversations nice after talking to. at least i feel there is still someone i can look for when i need help.

we had a long conversation... all started off with me asking him for a live band performance. he noted lots of things for me to keep in mind of wanting to have a live band in a particular area. it really ain't easy to plan and organise an event. there is so much considerations to take into. at least, there is one supportive friend to say that help is on its way when you need it. at least my plight was being heard by someone. rather than someone asking what i want him to say.

sheesh!

it has been tough. work has been. still is. i am trudging my way through it. i am not asking much, just your support. at least make me feel that i can rely on you when i need to. ideally. often of times, whenever i turned to you for request or help, i got rejected or given a frustrated respond. this upsets me a lot. seriously it does. at times, i wonder to myself... why are you like that? do you have to be so oblivious towards me? and i am not comparing. it is just the way things have been and i am not happy about it.

things are not going the way i am looking forward to. ideally it was meant to be better. i do not see it anywhere near now.

ideally. not realistically.

the clubs.

2005-10-30T00:25:00.000+08:00

Managing 3 different clubs for various age group ain't easy as it seems... especially when it was handed over to you in a mess! Different races, different ages, different interests... simply put as... "you can never please everyone" It is true, something which I have to always keep in mind.

However I am really happy to have friends I have made through coaching, who had stepped forward to offer me their help. I really truly appreciate people like them, otherwise I would have feel really helpless more than I need to be. You people know who you are... and I just want to thank you for you =)

S.T.R.E.T.C.H.

2005-10-28T23:54:00.000+08:00

Gee... it's exactly a month ago since I last blogged. Quite a number of things to update... first piece of good news is... I received Sam's postcard from the U.S. He is all well on Fisher Island, and I'm just glad. I read Samantha's blog a couple days ago, and I feel that she is turning her grief to the clubbing scene. Somehow I feel that it is not the best way to deal with it, perhaps for her that is the best solution.

I have started working at GTLKA on the 4th Oct, and I just got my first paycheck. Time sure is fast moving. For this first month, I must pick up and clear up all the things in high speed ahead, which are being left in a mess by my predecessor, before the camps start. It has definitely been a superbly challenging job for me - What a humongous stretch for me!

Anyway I'm going to end off here... I have work to do still... and I'm dead tired. I'm feeling so sleepy already.

the girls.

2005-09-28T23:38:00.000+08:00

partners in insanity.

unknown status of Sam.

2005-09-26T19:37:00.000+08:00

Sam & I
@ Francois-Peron NationalPark

feelsbittersweet.

2005-09-24T22:08:00.000+08:00

I have wrote to Aunt George, Uncle Harrold, Aunt Rob and Pastor Errol... I told them what a dreadful week I have to go through with the death of my friend. My heart aches for his mom and Samantha still... Aunt George said that I would need a closure to feel better about it - to send a note to his mom. I will probably do that.

I just read Samantha's blog... I just cried while reading it. His friends bought a pair of wedding bands for her on his behalf. It was really sweet, yet heartwrenching.

Mid-Autumn Festival

2005-09-18T21:02:00.000+08:00

This is the very first time after two years living abroad that I'm back here celebrating the Mid-Autumn Festival or aptly known as Mooncake Festival to most. For the past two years, I have been celebrating with my housemates. We would be having mooncakes and drinking hot Chinese tea in the late cold Winter or early Spring. And we would walk about in the neighbourhood with our lanterns and met other fellow Asian students too. We had to be extra on the alert while walking in the neighbourhood in the night, because the suburb that I lived in was rated as Perth's Top 10 Most Crime Rates. Yeah, I know that is not the best places to live in, but it is close to university. Hence, the convenience.

When I was younger, we used to go to the Chinese Gardens as a family to look at all the beautiful lanterns which were being displayed there. I remembered that was like one of the ritual we did when we were kids. I have not been to the Chinese Gardens since then...

If you would like to read more on this festival... go here

heartfelt goodbye to my dear friend.

2005-09-15T19:17:00.000+08:00

4 July 1982 - 13 September 2005

As I flipped over to The Straits Times of page 3, one of the headlines says, 'Soldier dies after collapsing in camp.' The first line of the paragraph read "Third Sergeant Perry Koh Han Min became the third sudden death fatality in the Singapore Arm Forces (SAF) since June... he collapsed playing street soccer at his camp." The words Perry Koh Han Min came across very familiar to me, I was hoping that it would not be my friend; hoping that it might be someone else with the same name. I read on further into the article to gather more details of this person, and as much as I do not want it to be true, he is my friend. To further confirmed this report, I flipped to the obituary section and I found 3 obituaries of him. Tears just started rolling down my cheeks. I did not know what else I can do, so I distracted my grief by playing games for a couple of hours. When I was lying on my bed, I was feeling terrible because he was gone. And I was left alone to reminisce the memories we once shared.

Perry was a sporty and healthy young man, who enjoyed the outdoors and riding his bike. What happened to him? Why did he just collapsed and died? I feel really sorry for his mother, as she had already lost her husband years ago and now she had to lose her 23 year old son. I also feel sorry for Samantha, Perry's girlfriend of about 3 years. Having been together for a number of years, and having to lose him all of a sudden; it must be very hard to let him go.

I remembered, it was May 13th, 2001, Mother's Day that I met Perry at Raffles Town Club. I was doing my F&B practical attachment for my Shatec course, while he was there having a Mother's Day lunch with his mother and his relatives. I was handing out Carnation flowers to all the mothers who were dining at the club's poolside cafe. Perry and I exchanged glances and he walked over to ask for my number. From then on, we started dating briefly for a month but remain as friends after things were not working out. I had to admit that I was on a rebound with Perry, when a pussy-faced jerk dropped the biggest bomb down in my life just a couple weeks or months ago before we met. I know I did hurt Perry who does not deserved it, but now it is too late. I remembered there were times when we were on the phone or we were video-conferencing when I was in Perth, Perry would at times play his guitar and sing me a song. Thank you for that. I will remember you, my dear friend. Goodbye.

Katrina, did you take Sam with you?

2005-09-09T23:19:00.000+08:00

the very last chat we had was tuesday, 23 August 2005. i haven't heard from you since? i have been waiting for my email to be replied from you. did she take you away?

love me not.

2005-08-31T14:07:00.000+08:00

do you love someone for a reason?

Someone once said this, "We don't love someone because he is such and such a person - reasons have lifespans, and when that lifespan is reached, you lose your reason for loving that person. You don't love someone because of what he/she is/does. you love someone because you commit yourself to doing it; because you want to and you choose to."

So am I being loved for reason?

dirty linen hung out.

2005-08-29T20:12:00.000+08:00

"Next time if all of you ever die, see if anyone is going to attend your funerals!"

"You're hopeless!"

"I will not leave my property to you even when I die!"

"All of you are sleeping with the devil."

These are some of the exchanges we had during dinner time. Not the best chat I had with him so far, however I had even worst ones. If the only way to communicate with his child is to use hurtful, insulting and negative words; then I apologise that I would not be able to be a good child. Seems like you never change; when will you ever learn to communicate the proper way. You always think that you have the right of way; thinking that you fervently spend every Sunday on holy grounds, does not mean God grant you a way to heaven. I often wonder how nicely you can speak to others, but not to your "loved" ones. Is it necessary to speak in a harsh manner to get things done? Have you not realise your own tonality when you speak? All these years, I asked for a decent relationship with you, but seems like it gets worst over the years. Asked yourself, have you shown much love and respect here? I do not care about the property, all I ever wanted is to have a complete life. And you took that away from me! It is entirely all your fault! Has she not done enough for her role? She did her best and you took her for granted. And what is with the adultery? You have no guts to even apologise for it. Is your ego and pride greater than us? It was just a simple word of apology; just to admit that you did wrong. I once asked her, how could things be different? She said, "Just a simple word called 'sorry'." It just takes a word like that to change our destiny and you would not even do it. You are pathetic.

MiSs MoU mOu.

2005-08-19T15:24:00.000+08:00

This is for a special girlfriend of mine, Mou Mou.

Who is Mou Mou? Hmmm... I wonder why she calls herself "Hairy", which is 'Mou Mou' in Cantonese. Actually she is also known as Elaine or Miss Innocently Blur Princess to me. *giggles* She is a girl with a really great personality and she is really great fun to have around. I missed those days where we did spend time hanging out, cooking, baking and our long phone chats (thanks to Optus FREE talktime minutes!) What I love about her is her sincerity, kindness and patience towards others. Her amiable self and her humility truly sets her apart from others. You can teased her all you want, because she will just turn to you and *bwWek*; Haha, her infamous typing habit of having bIg and SmALl fOnTS. V('_')V *peace* Not to mention her favourite poses with the 'peace' or 'thumbs up' sign! kekeke. "So Elaine!"

I miss ya, Mou Mou.

be an ecourager.

2005-08-18T15:51:00.000+08:00

Wherefore comfort yourselves together, and edify one another, even as also ye do.
- 1 Thessalonians 5:11

This was one of the verses I learned while I attended Faith Church in Perth. This verse always remind me to encourage the people around me, instead of criticizing them. Indeed it can easily be preached, and however easily not be practice too. It is because of our ever so critical human nature towards others that such a simple verse cannot be put into good practice. Relationships can always improve a lot more from being a critic to an encourager. Though at times my emotions do get the better of me, and I tend to say things in anger knowing that it will do no good somehow. This verse will always be kept at thoughts for me; as reminder to mellow myself.

I Am...

2005-08-15T03:23:00.000+08:00

The Sonnet
Deliberate Gentle Love Dreamer (DGLDf)

Romantic, hopeful, and composed. You are the Sonnet. Get it? Composed?

Sonnets want Love and have high ideals about it. They're conscientious people, caring & careful. You yourself have deep convictions, and you devote a lot of thought to romance and what it should be. This will frighten away most potential mates, but that's okay, because you're very choosy with your affections anyway. You'd absolutely refuse to date someone dumber than you, for instance.

Lovers who share your idealized perspective, or who are at least willing to totally throw themselves into a relationship, will be very, very happy with you. And you with them. You're already selfless and compassionate, and with the right partner, there's no doubt you can be sensual, even adventurously so.

You probably have lots of female friends, and they have a special soft spot for you. Babies do, too, at the tippy-top of their baby skulls.

Your exact opposite:
Genghis Khunt
Random Brutal Sex Master

ALWAYS AVOID: The 5-Night Stand, The False Messiah, The Hornivore, The Last Man on Earth

CONSIDER: The Loverboy

Matchmaking Personality Test:
http://www.okcupid.com/oktest

2005-08-06T23:31:00.000+08:00

"If you're out there you're vulnerable. People prefer to disappear in life, to repress their personality. That's not living. It's dying. I see them all over the place, the walking dead." ~ Grace Jones.

the hoo-ha of blogging.

2005-08-05T00:06:00.000+08:00

Lately there have been lots of media exposure to the blogging scene. Yeah, since when blogging has become a big hoo-ha? Well thanks to the media who actually bothers to check out blogs and the bloggers who have so much to express about themselves, other people, the environment which surrounds them, and myriad of other stuff to say about. For sure, it is definitely interesting to read all these entries; more of entertainment value to me.

Anyway why the need to bring up all those bloggers? Blogger who flaunts her nudity. Blogger whose blog was being hacked into. Blogger who has a great sense of humor.

Plus now potential employers are checking up on their potential candidates' blogs too! Geez! Candidates cannot have a piece of their minds now? Even on the cyberspace?! That is their private lives, man. Unless employers feel that they need to know the candidate's private self to be able to assess the person's eligibility to work professionally. However can they judge the person this way without giving them a chance? That is absolutely bullshit to me. Can someone please put the 'Equal Opportunity Law' in place here? It can really be exasperating for jobseeks.

Lastly, it is defnitely not much of a "freedom of speech" here either. You got to watch what you say, even though you might think it is your personal blog. In case, you are liable for defamation or libel; you might not want to go to that extend.

However it is a good place to voice your ramblings.

2005-07-31T16:34:00.000+08:00

"Only ugly women put on loads of makeup." ~ Carmen Marc Valvo.

overdue apology.

2005-07-29T13:06:00.000+08:00

It have been many years now, what needs to be forgotten should have been by now, some say. Well not entirely, some may have moved on but deep down the feelings of bitterness, pain or hurt may still be lurking around. I truly understand this, because I been through it; be it being hurt or hurting others, I'm being convicted of both ends. Sure hurting others is an easy task, but the person being hurt sure ain't having the best time of his/her life. If you ever have a little of that conscience of yours, and you know that you have truly caused that hurt in someone else, and you think it is completely okay to do so. Then I must say you can't feel much for anyone else, because you only care about how you feel about yourself.

Coming from my past, I truly am aware who I had hurt and I do owe the person a heartfelt apology. I know what I did in the past and what had happened did not end up in a good note. I was running away, hiding and pushing away. Over the years, I carry the burden of feeling that I did not end things the way it should have been. It could have been better; just nicer, perhaps. I cannot return to past, but I can work on what we have now; our friendship, perhaps. Thank you for accepting my long overdue apology.

given away.

2005-07-20T23:09:00.000+08:00

A baby girl was born on the 20th October in the mid-1950's. She was a healthy little one, the second child in the Choy family. Unknowingly she was given away to another family, even though the Choys had the ability to provide for her. She often wondered why they made the decision to give their own flesh and blood away, and not even bothered to ask of her well-being over the years. "How could a mother not love her own child?", she thought to herself, being a mother of two herself. Soon hatred consumed her, and forgiveness would never be given to her mother.

2005-07-19T14:59:00.000+08:00

"Relationships are like sharks, they've got to keep in motion. They've got to keep going into deeper, colder water, sometimes scarier, darker territories and break through, for relationships to stay alive." ~ Richard Gere.

a message from the past.

2005-07-18T16:03:00.000+08:00

"I haven't been having the feeling of being happy for very long, cos i miss you dearly. Does your heart still misses me? I let you go not because i don't love you anymore. But i thought that's what makes you happy and you can concentrate on your exams then. But my heart still cannot forget you till now, cos there's too much happiness between us. Happy memories... and I miss them... and you..." ~ SK.

this message was received last night. all i have to say is thank you for the two years you have given me. thank you for letting me go. i'm glad that there are happy memories left to be reminisce. go on... move along... do not stay for long, cos i'm moving on. i will see you soon, my friend, when you have decided to move on.

identity.

2005-07-16T00:05:00.000+08:00

do you practice what you preach?
or do you break the rules of it?
do you think this is who you are?
or is this someone else you think is you?

food for the soul.

2005-07-15T02:45:00.000+08:00

the flour...
the yeast...
the egg...
the milk...
the butter...
let's do some kneading.

grate the cheddar & mozerella cheese...
slice up the mushrooms...

spread the tomato paste over the base...
sprinkle some cheese...
sprinkle the minced meat...
top it all up with more cheese...
let's bake it.

time's up...

the wonderful pizza is ready to be served.

all done by yours truly.

are you convicted of being oblivious?

2005-07-13T00:20:00.000+08:00

"The bad things in life open your eyes to the good things you weren't paying attention to before." - Good Will Hunting.

How true this simple quote may be? Indeed we often do not see the good things that happened before our eyes; lest our hearts do not feel. Often the simple treasured goodness just slip passed you, and it happens whenever bad things happened. Is this where "all things happened for a reason" comes into the elusive picture?

Why do we often wait for bad things to happen to realise the good things? Why don't we open our eyes and feel with our hearts?

Food review cum Service quality.

2005-07-11T20:36:00.000+08:00

Place: Max Brenner Chocolate Bar

Location: Esplanade Mall
Beverage: Venezuelan Dark Chocolate (hot) and Espresso & Dark Chocolate Frappe

It's been awhile since i caught up with my friend, CH. Initially we had decided on meeting at Raffles Link Pacific Coffee, but i decided to change to Max Brenner's for a change. However the change was a disppointment.

When we first arrived at the Max's, we stood there for awhile to be waited; we had to get the staff attention instead of them giving us the attention. (please note: only 4 tables are being occupied) Then when we finally got seated, we were only given ONE miserable laminated menu. Personally I disliked it when a table had to share one miserable menu, moreover I'm sure there were more menus available to go around as the other tables already had their food served.

After we had placed our orders, it took another good 20 minutes or more to get our beverages to be served. We were starting to wonder if the staff had to go harvest more cocoa beans to make our chocolate beverages.

Anyway I am pleased with the beverages and ambience. I loved the smooth thick chocolate taste to CH's Hug Mug Venezuelan Dark Chocolate, as the name says it, you have to hug it to drink it. It was really such a pity that a fine store which holds a lovely name with poor service quality.

Final note: I'm not the only one who reckons its poor service. Check out http://singaporeblacklist.blogspot.com

service quality.

2005-07-10T23:17:00.000+08:00

Place: Water-Rise Pancake Burgers
Location: Parkway Parade (Outdoor)
Food: Chicken cheese fries

nothing annoys me more then unacceptable service attitude of service staff. firstly i had to stand at the counter for more than 5 minutes to be acknowledge as a consumer wanting to purchase their products. the female staff who was closest to the counter did not even acknowledge my presence. (blood starting to boil) i noted that there were only 3 tables occupied with customers, and 3 staff in total - they looked as if they were "very busy" and shorthanded. (even though only 1 table left to be serve with their food.) finally someone from behind the counter realised that i need to order my takeaway chicken cheese fries (8 miserably thin pieces; damned i hate pictures on advertisement banners), so i ordered and waited... basically it took me about 17 minutes to get the darned chicken cheese fries. *fumes*

anyway i got to mention that Aburiya has good service recovery for their customers. i forget to mention about it in my last entry, since i'm on the topic of service quality, i have to comment on them. basically they gave me the wrong bill and without checking the bill, i signed for it. later when i checked the bill, i realised it was a wrong bill, totalling to over 200 bucks. i clarified the bill with the staff and later the staff came with the right bill and apologised for the mistake. they also offer vanilla ice-cream (Haagen Daz) as part of their service recovery. and i left the place as a satisfied customer. *thumbs up*

Food review.

2005-07-08T23:05:00.000+08:00

Place: Aburiya
Location: Robertson Quay, Quayside.
Food: Foie Gras (duck liver), Aigamo (sliced duck meat), Beef (variations of sliced, steak cut & chunks), Shiitake Mushrooms, Garlic Chahan (garlic & beef fried rice) & Kimchi
Drinks: Tiger beer & Grape Soda

Aburiya is a Japanese grill resturant, unlike the korean barbecue which food are being placed on the hotplate to cook the food; here at Aburiya, the patrons have their meat and vegetables cooked over the grill which is fired by charcoal.

Though the menu of the meat is limited to beef, lamb, pork and duck. (where is the chicken?! i'm not sure either. *shrugs*) It gives you the choice to choose the type of marinate for the meat - salt & pepper, soya sauce, barbecue and lemon juice. Personally I love the shiitake mushrooms grilled. Hmmm... yums~

Another not to be miss is the rice in hot stone bowl called Bi Bim Bab, which is something like the Chinese claypot rice version. This time I opted for the Garlic Chahan, cos I had Bi Bim Bab the last time I went there, and Garlic Chahan is basically frying the rice with lots of garlic and sliced beef. The garlic taste is so strong it can keep a vampire away! Remember to take some mint along.

Overall, I still love this place, though the pricing is above the higher end of the mid-range. And might not be a good place for those who are looking for value for money sort of food, cos the food come in small portions of meat. Prices ranges from $8.90 - $20 per plate of meat. So be prepared to pay for the amount for the portion of meat served. Otherwise I heed you not to dine at Aburiya.

when love and hate collide.

2005-07-04T17:06:00.000+08:00

"There's a time and a place and a reason
And I know I got a love to believe in
All I know got to win this time."

i turned around and i found you there.
we aren't the same as we used to be, when we were younger.
but we're the same old spolit brats,
who still loved being pampered to the core.
young hearts, they run wild; that's what they used to say.
we have grown over the years. so much wiser.
we fall umpteen times in our years of lives.
however it haven't tampered our will to move on in life's treacherous journey.

here we are now.
slowly travelling on this psychedelic journey,
which is still beautifully painted with the colours of your world.
isn't it alluring?

thank you for you.

left with the tail.

2005-07-04T13:10:00.000+08:00

i wanted to do some blogging last night... not until something else distracted my attention away. i was lying on my bed, chatting away with my boyfriend... until my eyes caught the attention of the sticky four-legged, icky looking skin-coloured creature, which would put me in consternation on my wall. *screams* "lizard!!!" if you haven't known me long enough, the sight of lizard sends chills down my spine. i'm defnitely not a big fan of the lizard family, even though my close girlfriend keeps an iguana. She has attempted many times to get me to give her Rex a little pat, but ultimately a scorn is what she gets from me. anyway i woke my dad up from his slumber land to exterminate it. in the midst of passing the kettle with hot boiling water from my mom to my dad and my mom wanting to carry the dog. no one else's eyes were keeping a watch on the lizard, and after inhaling all the insecticide, the icky fella fell off the wall, and no where else to be found. after some searching around, dad caught sight of it and caught it, but only the tail was in. where's the body with the legs?!?!?!now it is still lurking somewhere in my room.

hit me hard in my head.

2005-06-17T16:11:00.000+08:00

are there times whereby you just simply feel like suffering from amnesia? i do. there are most of the times, i sat there reflecting on my past, and i realise i simply hated my past. somehow it was just part of my life i want to erase myself from or wished that it did not had happen. but somehow it just did, and it affected me in this present moment of time. is it that i did not come close to terms with what had happened, or am i just plain questioning myself on my own past and my profound illogicality? i am definitely having an internal conflict.

i often question myself, why did i have to allow certain situation or event to form a concatenation. though the concatenation of events can be swiftly avoided, if a stop sign was being raised. hence now, i live in retrospection.

a leap of faith.

2005-06-16T12:32:00.000+08:00

Waves of emotions consuming my body
Engulfing my mind
My heart
My soul

I close my eyes
Feeling and sensing only you
A longing so deep to be in your arms
For an eternity

Something in me is holding back
Memories of yesterday
Rushing in like a fog
Holding me back

My heart so full of love
But afraid to take that last leap
Memories of a heart breaking
Causing my soul to weep

A love so passionate and true
Is what I feel for you
I must have faith
And risk my heart breaking
To see if this love is true

by Deborah Emerson

whenever we step into a new relationship, it's a leap of faith. it's also a risk taking situation, whereby you will lose the special someone or risk being left heartbroken by the very same person too. sometimes we want to move on but the past is clinging onto our shadows. at times, we don't want to step out into the light to feel the warmth of it, but also not wanting to leave the past alone. life... sure is contridicting.

finally you thought of leaving the past behind, and move on with life. somehow the past comes back to you, and you find yourself actually still holding on to the past. the presence becomes just a pseudo love. who would have known that the mind agreed to leave it behind, but the heart holds on to it. i believe that it's entirely up to an individual whether to hold on or just leave it and move on. bystanders can only give as many suggestions or advices but ulitmately the decision lies with the individual.

it takes just one painful heart-breaking experience to build a stronger person.

GAI 02 Camp - 06 Jun - 09 Jun

2005-06-13T18:37:00.000+08:00

i had the most caring and supportive group of participants this camp ever had. these kids have definitely shown me what friends are for through their continous care, concern and support they have given to each other. my group is called the Happy Tree Friends (HTF), and they are Jemimah, Jiayu, Fadhilah, Nathan, Parthiban and Jinghao.

on the first day, when i took the group i could tell who are the relatively quiet ones and not willingly to open up. since i'm the coach, i appointed Jinghao as the HTF's leader, in hope for him to speak up and to interact with the other kids to lead the group. i also realised that he's not one to take the iniative to speak to others, hence i get the boys in the group to talk to him more often. and i paired them up with the ones who are active with the ones with passive personalities. the night's sharing ended off with commitment to bond as a group and giving 100% participation.

after 3rd day's TTP, my group bonded even more. the group would always remember to take food for me every meal, especially Jem. Jem even bought waffle pancake for me for breakfast, it was really sweet of her. and she even gave me a pair of small bears on booster session - thanks girl. not to mention a blog for HTF is being set up too.

it was also an emotions filled closing for me, cos Jinghao took up the challenge from the group to go up on stage to give his testimony. i'm really touch and happy for him that he came out from his shell. i could sense alot more confident in him during booster session, cos he was happy interacting with his friends and enjoying himself. i'm also glad he's going for advance camp, and i wish him the best.

i am happy that i see changes in them, and the new beliefs found in themselves. all the best HTF!

Food review.

2005-06-04T19:52:00.000+08:00

Place: Soup Restaurant
Location: Century Square

Food: Samsui Chicken, Claypot Tofu, Mak Chye, Stewed Mushroom with Broccoli and Yong Chow Fried Rice
Drink: Chrysanthemum tea

The Samsui Chicken is the restaurant's signature dish, though the name of the restaurant doesn't coincide with their signature dish. Nonetheless, the deboned chicken pieces which are placed surrounding a ginger dip on a large platter taste really yummy. *licks corner of the mouth* . A stack of nicely trimmed lettuce leaves accompanies it. You simply pick, dip, wrap and eat with the chicken pieces…..hwahhh!!

The claypot tofu, the tofu were coated with flour and some spices and fried, and later transferred into the claypot with a dark brown starchy sauce. I enjoyed the rather distinct taste of it.

The mak chye was nicely stir-fried with small pieces of salted fish and ikan bilis with slices of red chilli to spice up the overall flavor. It tastes differently from how my mom would cook it, and I like the way the chef has bring out the sweetness in the vegetables in this dish.

The stewed mushroom with broccoli is the most simple dish. The mushroom is being stewed to enable all the flavours of the sauce to be absorbed into the mushroom and broccoli is being parboiled and later lightly stir-fried with some garlic and some stock.

The yong chow fried rice is tasty due to the ingredient used to fried it - chinese sausages. I reckon the portion of the rice served is rather too little for the price to pay.

Overall, i feel that this place serves very typical homecooked dishes and the dishes are a version of a upper end 'zi cha'. The food prices are rather pricey for the food serves, but i did enjoyed my dinner.

i am gifted, so are you!

2005-06-03T00:40:00.000+08:00

i was meant to blog sooner though, but i was running a temperature. i was away for the last few days doing a camp, as a coach with GTLKA. it was a 'GAI' program (28 jun - 31 jun). this was my first GAI camp, and i was a little apprehensive and i was consumed by lots of mixed feelings, from excited to afraid. but this camp turn out to be a really good one for me, cos i feel that all the coaches make a great team. as for my individual self, i feel that i have learned alot from my experience with my very first camp, which was KS. and because i feel really discourage after doing the first camp for KS, i told myself that i wouldn't want to coach again. but somehow i decided to challenge myself to coach, and when i managed to see how each individual changed their behaviours and their beliefs - it really do feels good. for example, my kids was nice to offer to keep food for me. (for information: the coaches eat after the kids had their meals and they don't bother whether the coaches have any food left.)

i'll be coaching KS camp on the 10 jun -14 jun too.

Food review.

2005-05-27T00:22:00.000+08:00

Place: Nooch Noodle Bar
Location: City Link
Food: Curry Udon, Thai Curry Noodles, Japanese Tofu with sauce & Thai Fishcakes
Beverage: Fresh Lime Juice with Soda & Fruit Juice

I met up with my friend for dinner at City Link. It has been over a year since we last met, and it was 2 of his birthdays ago to be exact. I didn't manage to catch up with him last winter holidays, because it was a rather tight month for me. I was flying back and forth between countries. I got back to Singapore and flew out to Bangkok in the next few days for a shopping spree and food indulgence trip. And not long after my Bangkok trip, I need to fly back to Perth in a hurry, due to some hiccups in university. Anyway it was about time I catch up with him again, and we sat at Nooch for two long hours chatting non-stop.

Here goes for the food review:
I was torn between ordering the curry udon and thai curry noodles, because both were stated as Nooch best sellers. So I managed to get Sean to order curry udon, instead of his usual katsu don, and I can have the thai curry noodles. Heehee.

The serving portion is rather huge by Singapore standard, hence value for the money paid. The noodles in the thai curry is a little over cooked and it was soggy. The curry is rather mild, and it has a good serving of chicken pieces. The curry udon taste is alot more pleasing to the palate, however the serving of meat is lesser compared to the thai curry. Hence I ended up exchanging my thai for the japanese with my friend.

The thai fish cakes had a serving of 3 pieces which is rather odd, cos mostly it's even numbers. The texture of it is nice, it could have fair better with a little more spice. The Japanese tofu was yummy, and it has to be taken when it's being served. It is because prolonged soaking in the sauce makes it soggy for the deep-fried skin.

The beverages were pleasant and refreshing.

Overall, I would go there once in awhile, but not often. Cos I do not like the seats, as sitting in the seat made my butt stick out from behind the seat - not comfy at all. and the food ain't that fantastic.

World Vision.

2005-05-26T15:50:00.000+08:00

I have always seen the advertisements for World Vision when I was back in Perth. It was about sponsoring a child for a dollar a day, and I would always wanted to it. Syikin and I was chatting on msn, and she told me that if it wasn't for the loan to payoff, she would have joined some voluntary work. I trust that she will do a great work in volunterring; she has this big personality with a wonderful soul in her. Though I only stayed with her for a couple of months, it was the best time I had with her as my housemate. She has the most patience that I can find in anyone else I know.

Indeed doing a voluntary work takes a lot of mental and physical preparation on an individual, and I know I am not ready for it. The closest I can do is to sponsor a HopeChild, when I start earning a decent amount of salary. Looking at the pictures of the children, the tinge of hope in their eyes and their innocence, they deserve to live in this world like any other child. These children are robbed of the necessities and amenities in their home, all because they are living in poverty. I must confessed that I do have all the material and physical needs well-provided for me since I was a child. I had a decent roof above my head, food provided for me every meal, education was compulsory to me and I get to travel overseas from a toddler onwards. To these third world children, it is a priviledge to be able to have all these. Yet most of us are complacent of what we have in our lives.

Food review.

2005-05-25T21:37:00.000+08:00

Place: Sheng Li Restaurant
Location: Temporary market in Tampines
Food: Zi Zhah - Deep-fried butter & milk prawns, Chicken with apple sauce & Sambal Kangkong

Firstly there isn't any available menu given, and the lady who served wasn't too helpful to recommend dishes. She claimed that all the dishes on the menu are nice. (This sort of response usually put me off, cos I'm pretty sure there are some dishes which are not as sellable.) Though there are two newspaper articles from the chinese papers that have given a review on the store. I am not convinced till I tasted the food myself.

It wasn't long before the first dish, sambal kangkong was laid on the table. The colour of the dish did not appeal to my sight; it look like the cook had used some vegetables that had lose its freshness to serve to his customer. It was a little too oily, but the sambal tasted was alright.

The second dish was deep-fried butter and milk prawns. The prawns used were not really fresh, and the shells of the prawns were not crispy enough. The taste of it was slightly average.

Lastly is the chicken with apple sauce. I was rather curious how apple would taste in a dish like this, hence I decided to give it a go. But it was a disppoinment to my tastebud. The first mouthful of it, the distinct taste my palate picked up was the taste of food turning bad.

Overall, don't go there unless the rest of the stores are closed.

letters & cards

2005-05-24T23:56:00.000+08:00

i spent the entire late afternoon clearing and cleaning my bookshelves, and my cards and letters drawer. i spent some time picking up letters and cards randomly to read. i really enjoyed writing letters and cards, but now i am caught up with technology - damned the internet and email! i still enjoy receiving cards by snail-mail as a matter of fact. somehow i love the personalized touch to a handwritten piece of mail as compared to an email.

reading through my pile of letters and cards, brings back lots of memories i had years ago - some of which happened to be dissolve with time. most of those memories brought me back to old school days. not to mention i found my autograph-cum-diary book; this book has been with me since i was primary six. gee, that's what i called old school. i flipped through the pages of the book, and i realised from the date i penned down those entries till now, i have grown so much. gasps! it reminded me of my child likeness.

love is not blind.

2005-05-13T14:15:00.000+08:00

"Love is not blind - it sees more and not less,
but because it sees more it is willing to see less."

most people say love is blind, but is love really blind? well, i say it depends. for me, i'm always entwine in rationality and emotionality. hence, the quote above fits me perfectly. at times, when you're so in love, you love the person blindly without realising whether he/she is doing good to you. but if you use a little bit of your rationality to love a person, you will know what is the best interest for your heart and soul.

so what is 'sees more and not less' and 'seeing more, yet seeing less'? in my opinion, i believe that you tend to see alot more of the person when you are together. you pick up bits and peices of the person's personality and characteristics. whether be it the negative or positive traits, it forms the person you are with. and how you look at it depends on how you want it to be. hence, "...because it sees more it is willing to see less."

no single being or soul is perfect on earth. but of course, you have to have someone who treats you well enough to deserve being loved. and you in return must reciprocate.

in grieve.

2005-05-12T01:45:00.000+08:00

why must i be the one to find you motionless?
why didn't i check on you, as i would as usual?
why must it be in such a short span of time for you?

i can't carry any further here;
tears can't stop streaming down my face.

goodbye my little furry girl.

forever in my memories.

miss you dearly.

2005-05-11T00:16:00.000+08:00

allow my tears to flow freely on your shoulders;
embrace me with a hug, which tells me that you will never let me go.
show me those eyes that say you will always be here for me.
kiss me to say how much you love me.

sonnet 50

2005-05-09T22:58:00.000+08:00

how heavy do i journey on the way,
when what i seek, my weary travel's end.
doth teach that ease and that repose to say
'thus far the miles are measured from thy friend!'
the beast that bears me, tired with my woe,
plods dully on, to bear that weight in me,
as if by some instinct the wretch did know
his rider loved not speed, being made from thee:
the bloody spur cannot provoke him on
that sometimes anger thrusts into his hide;
which heavily he answers with a groan,
more sharp to me than spurring to his side;
for that same groan doth put this in my mind;
my grief lies onward and my joy behind.

sharing my sentiments.

2005-04-28T13:13:00.000+08:00

just got an email from my friend. some good news from him; he is currently in Perth - a place i dearly miss. we actually had plans to do scuba-diving together, but he got back to Perth after his Bandah Aceh trip. anyway he got his Bridging A, which means he is able to apply for a job and legally work in Australia. that is really great for him. he too, finds it difficult to get a job. at least, i have someone else to share my sentiments as a graduate looking for a job. i don't need another person telling me that i am not doing enough to get myself a job. cos i only have myself to answer to and not to him. and i have had enough of him drumming into my ears, telling me that getting a job is not my first priority and i am not doing enough to get it.

at times i really why i decided to pack my bags and head back here. i could have just stay put in Australia and get a job. or at least i have another person to share my sentiments with. why am i here?

let go.

2005-04-15T15:46:00.000+08:00

i'm not as strong as i seems to be;
maybe you ain't gonna be the pillar of strength for me.
i cry, and i do cry alot;
but that doesn't mean i'm weak.

for now i'm sure that you ain't my comforting strong shoulders i could lean on.
all i ever wanted was just that.
but now, i don't need you anymore.

you can go on with you own new set of life perspectives and goals;
i wish you the best.

stay away.

2005-04-14T16:36:00.000+08:00

sigh~ i didn't pass the psychometric test and i'm not short-listed for the job.
i'm feeling discourage and i'm frustrated. i'm angry at the situation. i'm angry for not having a job. i'm tired sitting around. i'm not happy. not happy at all. arghhhh!!!!!!!!!!

rain.

2005-03-27T14:08:00.000+08:00

the clouds gathered;
shades of grey started to colour the skies;
tiny droplets started falling from the overcast skies;
slowly the tiny droplets gained more weight;
and it got heavier;
here comes the much long awaited rain.

opposite vs like.

2005-03-26T02:13:00.000+08:00

someone asked me, "are you happy?"
i said, "yes, but there are lots to work on."

indeed being in a new relationship with another new person, there are new things and different issues to work on. and i'm still setting up the foundation on this architecture of mine. it seems to be the most challenging one i ever had, and i am getting a little weary. i am not sure if my patience or tolerance will increase for the better or i did just lose it, and walk out of it.

'opposite attracts; like repels.'

well not all the time this basic physics theory works on human characteristics. some opposites just cannot stand each other, due to differences in life. while some likes work just fine with each other. i say, opposite do attracts if each could compromise and realise that each other could compliment and make up for each other shortcomings and strengths. this would just be my dream architecture.

Repus Sidk Camp 14 - 19 March 05

2005-03-26T01:47:00.000+08:00

it was indeed an experience working with kids. and the Repus Sidk programme was rather interesting, though not all of them benefited from it. kids in this era, definitely are alot blessed with a fortunate life. parents are so willing to spend that amount of money for their children just to go through the programme. it was nice to see those kids whom truly benefited from it went up on stage to give thanks.

being such an impatient person that i am, i truly find it difficult to communicate with kids. gee, i really gonna have a hard time dealing with my own kids. now i know why those parents are always shouting at their children, all because children can't listen to simple things.

patience is all i need.
tolerance is needed to be put in place.
the task is difficult;
yet i take the challenge.
i need to stretch myself more.
this is not my limit.

rest.

emotionally connected.

2005-03-13T13:30:00.000+08:00

i don't feel connected to you.
i can't feel the emotions.
i am drifting away from you.
i am losing it.
i am numb.

love and hatred.

2005-03-13T01:15:00.000+08:00

hatred paralyzes life;
love releases it.
hatred confuses life;
love harmonizes it.
hatred darkens life;
love illumines it.

martin luther king, jr. (1929 - 1968)

her story.

2005-03-13T00:16:00.000+08:00

for as far as she can remember in the days of her childhood, her parents would take both her elder brother and her out on weekends. the usual weekend outing would be this shopping centre called Parkway Parade. the exterior of this building had a man-made waterfall and fountain area, and there were blue dolphins hear the seating area.

on her birthdays in kindergarten, her mother would bought cakes to distribute to her fellow classmates. back at home, there was a spread of delicious dishes prepared to celebrate her birthday. after the sumptuous meal, it was cake cutting and pictures were taken for remembrance.

she also remembered walking to the block 85 wet market near her home with her family for dinner at the hawker centre. she enjoyed eating the minced pork noodle sold by the old lady. sometime after dinner, the family might walked over to the grandmother's home to pay her a visit.

as a girl she does not have many playmates to play with. hence most of the time, the only playmate she ever had was herself; be it at playing barbie dolls, play-doh or any other role playing game, it was just she and herself. hence as a kid she was never outspoken, in fact she was extremely shy. she is a little girl in her own oyster shell.

she could remember her father once asked her, who would she preferred to be with, father or mother. as a young child , such a question was rather daunting to her; why must she choose between her parents, she thought. what followed on was her parents quarelling. then when they moved to the new flat, her parents have slept in seprate rooms from then onwards.

all her childhood, she always hoped that somehow, someday her parents would reconciled. but this was her wishful thinking. knowing that it would not happened, yet she would not let this go. though it is still as painful holding on, she stubbornly cling on. this have proven too difficult for her to just let this burden go.

this is her story.

super me?

2005-03-11T13:58:00.000+08:00

i have decided to take up the job as a coach with GTLKA for their malaysia camp, Repus Sdik. i have been going through intensive training for the last two days and today will be the last of the 3 days. this will be a challenging job for myself; for a start i'm really bad with kids, lest handling them. not that i don't like them, just lack the patience. anyway see how it goes for the next entire week.

why is it, you?

2005-03-07T23:11:00.000+08:00

you're the last person whom i thought would have hurt me;
someone who would not have betrayed my trust;
someone whom i have my faith set on.
but it all turned out differently, just not what i have expected.

whatever had happened definitely made me changed my perspectives on you, on us.
i'm not sure if i could ever trust you again.
and i don't know what can be done to trust you again.
i gave you trust but you took it and betrayed it.
you turned on me;
while i set my sight on you.

i am hurt;
i feel betrayed;
i am upset;
the void is there.

you said that the decision lies in me;
i gave you my answer;
but you wanted another chance;
this chance will be yours;

however i feel that we are bridging apart;
the moat is built;
slowly water is filled in it.

you made feel like a complete fool.
seems to me like all my efforts are being thrown out.
whatever happened to the care, concern and love?
didn't i do enough to show how much i actually did...?

i'm tired now.
i gave my best to you;
but you took it as it is.

now you stabbed right into my fragile heart;
i'm hurt;
bleeding right from within.
allow me to lay here;
while i bleed myself away.

i love you still anyway.
though i'm not sure whether time could heal.
but it's our deal now.

broken.

2005-03-06T04:30:00.000+08:00

i'm in a daze.
i don't need the sunshine.
i don't want to be here.
i don't want anymore promises.
i'm lost.
i'm broken.

shut up.

2005-03-05T00:26:00.000+08:00

don't you dare say i don't share about my innermost feelings;
don't you dare say i don't speak much;
i did, but was being turned away.
your actions, damned right again it's your actions.

am i not important at all?
or am i just blabbering words away from my mouth?
or is it the things i say are of not much importance?

whatever is it, stop hurting me.
cos it's not turning out good.

shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up now.

changes.

2005-03-05T00:21:00.000+08:00

have i been changing or have i changed? or i never have changed?

it seems like i feel alot at ease when i'm out alone. i can walk anywhere and enter any shop, without being ask where is my next destination. i simply detest it when someone asks me where i'm heading next because i enjoy walking about anywhere, especially when i'm in the mood to go town. and it's alot better when i'm alone, because i don't have to take into consideration whether the person is bored or not interested or whatever it is.

seems like my hormones are raging all over biologically, because it seems like i'm having quite a record of mood swings these days. at times i questioned myself, 'what on earth is wrong?' shrugs, beats me. anyway please bear with me while i go figure it out.

reasons that i could conjure up are:
- PMS.
- i'm not happy.
- the humidity is killing me.

in the meantime, allow my unpredictable hormones to rage.