hit me hard in my head.
0 rhythm

are there times whereby you just simply feel like suffering from amnesia? i do. there are most of the times, i sat there reflecting on my past, and i realise i simply hated my past. somehow it was just part of my life i want to erase myself from or wished that it did not had happen. but somehow it just did, and it affected me in this present moment of time. is it that i did not come close to terms with what had happened, or am i just plain questioning myself on my own past and my profound illogicality? i am definitely having an internal conflict.
i often question myself, why did i have to allow certain situation or event to form a concatenation. though the concatenation of events can be swiftly avoided, if a stop sign was being raised. hence now, i live in retrospection.
i often question myself, why did i have to allow certain situation or event to form a concatenation. though the concatenation of events can be swiftly avoided, if a stop sign was being raised. hence now, i live in retrospection.
unspoken words amplified @ 6/17/2005 04:11:00 PM

a leap of faith.
Waves of emotions consuming my body
Engulfing my mind
My heart
My soul
I close my eyes
Feeling and sensing only you
A longing so deep to be in your arms
For an eternity
Something in me is holding back
Memories of yesterday
Rushing in like a fog
Holding me back
My heart so full of love
But afraid to take that last leap
Memories of a heart breaking
Causing my soul to weep
A love so passionate and true
Is what I feel for you
I must have faith
And risk my heart breaking
To see if this love is true
by Deborah Emerson
Engulfing my mind
My heart
My soul
I close my eyes
Feeling and sensing only you
A longing so deep to be in your arms
For an eternity
Something in me is holding back
Memories of yesterday
Rushing in like a fog
Holding me back
My heart so full of love
But afraid to take that last leap
Memories of a heart breaking
Causing my soul to weep
A love so passionate and true
Is what I feel for you
I must have faith
And risk my heart breaking
To see if this love is true
by Deborah Emerson
whenever we step into a new relationship, it's a leap of faith. it's also a risk taking situation, whereby you will lose the special someone or risk being left heartbroken by the very same person too. sometimes we want to move on but the past is clinging onto our shadows. at times, we don't want to step out into the light to feel the warmth of it, but also not wanting to leave the past alone. life... sure is contridicting.
finally you thought of leaving the past behind, and move on with life. somehow the past comes back to you, and you find yourself actually still holding on to the past. the presence becomes just a pseudo love. who would have known that the mind agreed to leave it behind, but the heart holds on to it. i believe that it's entirely up to an individual whether to hold on or just leave it and move on. bystanders can only give as many suggestions or advices but ulitmately the decision lies with the individual.
it takes just one painful heart-breaking experience to build a stronger person.
finally you thought of leaving the past behind, and move on with life. somehow the past comes back to you, and you find yourself actually still holding on to the past. the presence becomes just a pseudo love. who would have known that the mind agreed to leave it behind, but the heart holds on to it. i believe that it's entirely up to an individual whether to hold on or just leave it and move on. bystanders can only give as many suggestions or advices but ulitmately the decision lies with the individual.
it takes just one painful heart-breaking experience to build a stronger person.
unspoken words amplified @ 6/16/2005 12:32:00 PM

GAI 02 Camp - 06 Jun - 09 Jun
i had the most caring and supportive group of participants this camp ever had. these kids have definitely shown me what friends are for through their continous care, concern and support they have given to each other. my group is called the Happy Tree Friends (HTF), and they are Jemimah, Jiayu, Fadhilah, Nathan, Parthiban and Jinghao.
on the first day, when i took the group i could tell who are the relatively quiet ones and not willingly to open up. since i'm the coach, i appointed Jinghao as the HTF's leader, in hope for him to speak up and to interact with the other kids to lead the group. i also realised that he's not one to take the iniative to speak to others, hence i get the boys in the group to talk to him more often. and i paired them up with the ones who are active with the ones with passive personalities. the night's sharing ended off with commitment to bond as a group and giving 100% participation.
after 3rd day's TTP, my group bonded even more. the group would always remember to take food for me every meal, especially Jem. Jem even bought waffle pancake for me for breakfast, it was really sweet of her. and she even gave me a pair of small bears on booster session - thanks girl. not to mention a blog for HTF is being set up too.
it was also an emotions filled closing for me, cos Jinghao took up the challenge from the group to go up on stage to give his testimony. i'm really touch and happy for him that he came out from his shell. i could sense alot more confident in him during booster session, cos he was happy interacting with his friends and enjoying himself. i'm also glad he's going for advance camp, and i wish him the best.
i am happy that i see changes in them, and the new beliefs found in themselves. all the best HTF!
on the first day, when i took the group i could tell who are the relatively quiet ones and not willingly to open up. since i'm the coach, i appointed Jinghao as the HTF's leader, in hope for him to speak up and to interact with the other kids to lead the group. i also realised that he's not one to take the iniative to speak to others, hence i get the boys in the group to talk to him more often. and i paired them up with the ones who are active with the ones with passive personalities. the night's sharing ended off with commitment to bond as a group and giving 100% participation.
after 3rd day's TTP, my group bonded even more. the group would always remember to take food for me every meal, especially Jem. Jem even bought waffle pancake for me for breakfast, it was really sweet of her. and she even gave me a pair of small bears on booster session - thanks girl. not to mention a blog for HTF is being set up too.
it was also an emotions filled closing for me, cos Jinghao took up the challenge from the group to go up on stage to give his testimony. i'm really touch and happy for him that he came out from his shell. i could sense alot more confident in him during booster session, cos he was happy interacting with his friends and enjoying himself. i'm also glad he's going for advance camp, and i wish him the best.
i am happy that i see changes in them, and the new beliefs found in themselves. all the best HTF!
unspoken words amplified @ 6/13/2005 06:37:00 PM

Food review.
Place: Soup Restaurant
Location: Century Square
Location: Century Square
Food: Samsui Chicken, Claypot Tofu, Mak Chye, Stewed Mushroom with Broccoli and Yong Chow Fried Rice
Drink: Chrysanthemum tea
The Samsui Chicken is the restaurant's signature dish, though the name of the restaurant doesn't coincide with their signature dish. Nonetheless, the deboned chicken pieces which are placed surrounding a ginger dip on a large platter taste really yummy. *licks corner of the mouth* . A stack of nicely trimmed lettuce leaves accompanies it. You simply pick, dip, wrap and eat with the chicken pieces…..hwahhh!!
The claypot tofu, the tofu were coated with flour and some spices and fried, and later transferred into the claypot with a dark brown starchy sauce. I enjoyed the rather distinct taste of it.
The mak chye was nicely stir-fried with small pieces of salted fish and ikan bilis with slices of red chilli to spice up the overall flavor. It tastes differently from how my mom would cook it, and I like the way the chef has bring out the sweetness in the vegetables in this dish.
The stewed mushroom with broccoli is the most simple dish. The mushroom is being stewed to enable all the flavours of the sauce to be absorbed into the mushroom and broccoli is being parboiled and later lightly stir-fried with some garlic and some stock.
The yong chow fried rice is tasty due to the ingredient used to fried it - chinese sausages. I reckon the portion of the rice served is rather too little for the price to pay.
Overall, i feel that this place serves very typical homecooked dishes and the dishes are a version of a upper end 'zi cha'. The food prices are rather pricey for the food serves, but i did enjoyed my dinner.
Drink: Chrysanthemum tea
The Samsui Chicken is the restaurant's signature dish, though the name of the restaurant doesn't coincide with their signature dish. Nonetheless, the deboned chicken pieces which are placed surrounding a ginger dip on a large platter taste really yummy. *licks corner of the mouth* . A stack of nicely trimmed lettuce leaves accompanies it. You simply pick, dip, wrap and eat with the chicken pieces…..hwahhh!!
The claypot tofu, the tofu were coated with flour and some spices and fried, and later transferred into the claypot with a dark brown starchy sauce. I enjoyed the rather distinct taste of it.
The mak chye was nicely stir-fried with small pieces of salted fish and ikan bilis with slices of red chilli to spice up the overall flavor. It tastes differently from how my mom would cook it, and I like the way the chef has bring out the sweetness in the vegetables in this dish.
The stewed mushroom with broccoli is the most simple dish. The mushroom is being stewed to enable all the flavours of the sauce to be absorbed into the mushroom and broccoli is being parboiled and later lightly stir-fried with some garlic and some stock.
The yong chow fried rice is tasty due to the ingredient used to fried it - chinese sausages. I reckon the portion of the rice served is rather too little for the price to pay.
Overall, i feel that this place serves very typical homecooked dishes and the dishes are a version of a upper end 'zi cha'. The food prices are rather pricey for the food serves, but i did enjoyed my dinner.
unspoken words amplified @ 6/04/2005 07:52:00 PM

i am gifted, so are you!
i was meant to blog sooner though, but i was running a temperature. i was away for the last few days doing a camp, as a coach with GTLKA. it was a 'GAI' program (28 jun - 31 jun). this was my first GAI camp, and i was a little apprehensive and i was consumed by lots of mixed feelings, from excited to afraid. but this camp turn out to be a really good one for me, cos i feel that all the coaches make a great team. as for my individual self, i feel that i have learned alot from my experience with my very first camp, which was KS. and because i feel really discourage after doing the first camp for KS, i told myself that i wouldn't want to coach again. but somehow i decided to challenge myself to coach, and when i managed to see how each individual changed their behaviours and their beliefs - it really do feels good. for example, my kids was nice to offer to keep food for me. (for information: the coaches eat after the kids had their meals and they don't bother whether the coaches have any food left.)
i'll be coaching KS camp on the 10 jun -14 jun too.
i'll be coaching KS camp on the 10 jun -14 jun too.
unspoken words amplified @ 6/03/2005 12:40:00 AM
