a sudden surge of anger began to fill me up, as i hung up the line with my father. simply because of another fuck up conversation with him. seems like it's getting harder to communicate with him. now i have told myself not to talk to him, if there isn't any need to.

you asked me why do i cry so easily? to tell you the truth, i don't enjoy crying so much either. it hurts my eyes so badly just to cry this hard. you think life is as simple as it looks, eh. well maybe it's in your world. you would also say that i choose to be like this. but have you ever thought that i was born into this family without choice. yes, i still do have my parents with me. but what good does it do when you have such a father whom you simply can't communicate with. each time whenever he opens his bloody mouth, it's always offensive to others. even to the extend my friends can't stand his bloody attitude, and i always have to end up apologising to them.

being a father doesn't mean you have always been right? it also doesn't mean you're given a right to hurt others with your word. have you ever think of what you did many years ago while i was still a foetus in the womb? no! of course, you wouldn't want to be reminded of your own guilt. hang on, i don't think you have ever feel guilt in you, eh. why would you? because you're an asshole. you're such a bastard. and i hate you ever more for causing the family to fall apart. and because you ahev so much bloody pride that you wouldn't even want to apologise what you did. you're such a coward not to admit your own mistakes. no matter how much time you have given to God every sunday, without repentance to your own sin, you're no where near heaven's door. good luck to you. ha! and you haven't even dare to seek forgiveness all these years. and i wouldn't even want to feel sorry for you, because you're not a man just a useless coward with a sinful past. you're even so afraid to let others know that you're estranged from your wife. why? all because you're prideful and it's definitely a 'face' issue. why are you afraid, when you dare to do what you did in the first place?

i'm extremely jaded from my past issues. i'm tired for now. please allow me to rest. wrath is all in my mind.

hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate