mind in perplexity.
somehow as the days proceed on, my mind is having an internal conflict. i have questioned myself many times on "us".
- have we started too soon? "it's not a matter of time, i follow how i feel. i feel it's right than i'll go ahead."
- why don't i feel 'special'? "but you're special."
my mind is in a total perplexity. do you know that there are several times that i really need you to be just here to listen? but most of the time, you were washed out from work. and i couldn't bear to make you stay up any longer to listen to me, even i did you weren't here listening to what i have to say. though i feel upset about it, but what else can i do? telling you wouldn't solve the issue, cos i know even though you would have tried to stay awake, you'll end up not listening anyway. i'm sad that you're not here. maybe what you have painted in the perfect picture ain't up on the wall for me to view yet. thus i'm always longing for that picture, but what hangs on the wall is a disappointment. i'm sad and disappointed. or am i not being understanding enough towards you? should i hang in longer to see how it goes? i feel like giving up, but i'm not happy just leaving without accepting the challenge of having someone different in my life compare to the previous ones.
sigh.
unspoken words amplified @ 1/18/2005 06:41:00 PM
